Merry Christmas Elder North!

Oh my goodness what a week! Before I get into anything I want to talk about Christmas and how wonderful it really is. I'm so thankful for this time of the year and how it brings everything back into focus, on Christ. And I've really, really needed that lately. It hasn't felt like Christmas at all for me this year, and I wasn't really sure why. I haven't really been in the Christmas spirit and I think a lot of it is because I've been struggling with feeling the spirit. I've kind of been in a dark place, desiring to find the light and to feel happy again, but I just feel numb and like I go through the motions each day. But the Sunday before Christmas is always the best because there's music and the spirit is so strong, and so it was exactly what I needed. We were singing Away in a Manger at the end of sacrament meeting and last verse made me bawl haha. "Be near me Lord Jesus, I ask thee to stay. Close by me forever, and love me I pray." I think I've been a little bitter about the way the last 2 months have gone because of my injury but I've pushed those feelings down instead of addressing them and it's caused me to feel this way. I've been pushing Christ and his love away from me instead of letting Him heal me and help me. And I think that's why it hasn't felt like Christmas to me, because I'm forgetting Christ, the whole reason we even have this holiday! In Gospel Doctrine we talked about the Christmas story as it's written in the Bible and the teacher asked why we, as spirits in heaven, would be so happy that Christ was coming to earth when we knew what He would have to go through? It's because while it would be difficult, the end would be worth it. Christ came because He knew that it would be hard, but He would be doing it for our benefit individually, and for that it was worth it. That filled the emptiness that has been controlling me for months now. Christ came for me, why would I push Him away? He suffered exactly what I am going through, why wouldn't I let Him in? After that lesson the youth song "Come Unto Christ" was playing over and over in my head. (If you haven't listened to it, do it. The spirit testifies of Christ's love so strongly) "Come unto Christ, come unto Him, and by his grace be made holy again. He's calling your name, he's waiting for you with arms open wide, Come unto Christ." This Christmas season, I'm so thankful for a loving Savior who welcomes me with open arms and loves me unconditionally, even when I've been pushing Him away.

He made a Christmas tree so that it would feel more like Christmas!

He got a new companion, Elder Adams! They have both been out for 6 months and he says that they get along really well. He said he's definitely his favorite companion so far :) He is excited for the next few weeks with him because even though they have been out the same amount of time, he feels that he will learn a lot from him! They were already friends from his previous area so that helped them to click quickly. "so from the day I got him we went to a lesson and in the middle of teaching we stopped and just sat for a couple seconds and then Adams asked a truly inspired question that really opened up the lesson. its changed from us talking person to person, to us talking spirit to spirit."

"A great experience I had this week was when we got bunked and were deciding what to do when I just kept thinking about xolani an investigator who we have been unable to visit in about 4 weeks because he started working but we decided we should try to see if he was home anyways. When we got there you would never believe it.... he wasn't there.... of course haha its what we expected but what we didn't expect was to find his sister, we talked with her a bit to get to know her and ended up teaching her the restoration, at the end of the lesson we talked about how important prayer is and how we can actually receive an answer from our father in heaven. just like any parent they want to hear from us and are there for us. We invited her to pray right there and then, while she was praying she started crying and laughing all at the same time and the spirit was so strong It was incredible, it was amazing to feel the Savior work through us as missionaries and guide us to those who are ready for us!"

 At a wedding

Gross.

"I really do love you and just want the whole world to know it, ya know? do you ever get the feeling when you just want to almost yelll out and just exclaim ah I love this girl so much!!!! well maybe I am weird but it happens all the time whenver I think back on how much fun we had and how much I love you and how I cant wait to see you again.Christmas is the best! I know you have been struggling with the whole knee thing and I wish I could be there and do more, it hurts, like literally hurts knowing that I cant be there physically but I know its for the better and that you will of course come out on top as always, I look up to you in so many ways, the way you have handled everything that has come your way, sure we may not have handled it perfect but I think we did a pretty dang good job haha better than what most would have. all I can say is what I know. I love you, God loves you, and love according to what they say is all you need, so trust in that love, find strength in that love and push on, always push on just one step at a time."

Traditional women's headdress

So yesterday was the best because I GOT TO SKYPE WITH HIM!! :) His family is seriously the best and invited me over to talk to him. I got up at 6:30 am and drove to their house to be there when he called. When he finally did I got the biggest butterflies and almost wanted to cry! It was amazing to see him and hear his voice, he has a little accent going now haha :) When he saw that I was there his reaction was the cutest thing I've ever seen, I wish I could replay that over and over. He was so talkative and had a lot of stories to tell and words in different languages to say. He bore his testimony for us and said a family prayer, and then his parents let just he and I talk together, which was the greatest thing I could have ever asked for. We talked for 30 minutes but it felt like I blinked and it was over. I miss our long talks and talking about anything and everything like we used to. Ah it was so good to talk to him. Before he hung up we talked about him staying focused on what he is there for. The quote "the more you let go, the more you get back" was what I focused on and I reminded him to let go of home and love the people he is serving because everything will still be here when he gets back. He gets one chance, 18 more months, to live his mission, love it and serve with all he has. He showed me a picture he has of me that says "delay what you WANT for what you NEED" which was the only time I was close to crying while I was talking to him haha. I'm so thankful that I got to talk to him, that made me so happy and I'm so thankful for his family for including me! It was such a blessing. It's crazy that it had been 6 whole months since I had talked to him and seen him. But hey, we're 1/4 of the way done! I'm so proud of him and who he is becoming. He is a blessing to me!